The only thing keeping you from busting through that glass domestic ceiling like the Kool-Aid mascot is fear. Well, it’s time to tame the fear and release your domestic beast. You can do this! Here are a few tips to get you started. Make a copy and keep it handy. Refer to it whenever you’re discouraged or feel like giving up. Ready?
- Fact - stoves and ovens cook food as effectively as a BBQ grill. Yup. The stove is your friend. Smaller flame, same principle. Note to electric range users; the cook surface will get bright red – similar to the signs outside the sports bar. Do not touch. The cooking surface will be hot. Just place the food and begin cooking. Helpful Hint: remove food from can and place in pan before cooking.
- A common floor mop may resemble the tentacles of a terrifying squid or gigantic octopus. But – and I cannot stress this enough - a mop is not alive. It will not hurt you. Go ahead. Pick it up. It needs you to complete the cleaning function. It’s like that beautiful, chrome, tricked out truck in the garage. Worthless unless you use it. Though, to be fair, there’s legend that some men do just stare at mops (and in many cases, brooms) in utter confusion searching for the off / on switch. Quick Tip: There is no switch. There is no motor pull handle. It is 100% manually operated. This is for your benefit as it has fewer working parts that would otherwise eventually need repair.
- Speaking of off / on switches, let’s talk vacuum cleaners. Wait, wait. Get back here. Don’t run. You are not a cat. You are a MAN! Yes, these weird-shaped machines do indeed have motors. Use this to your benefit! Embrace the vacuum cleaner. It performs much of the work for you. This is a little-known secret that, once realized, will forever change the way you view this life event. The only downside is that they are a little noisy, and, unlike the attention you get racing up and down the street in your muscle car or on your bike, you probably won’t want to draw attention. You'll want to close the curtains and blinds while operating this machine.