Let’s start with those shoes you ladies wear that have the heels elevated with stick-like things to the point where it looks like your heels are trying to kiss the back of your knees while your toes are pointed straight into the ground as though you are attempting to buff your toenails with carpet nap. Why?
I speak for the majority of men when I say that we look for a couple things when purchasing shoes. Do they look good? And at the top of this short list … Are they comfortable? If they aren’t comfy, they’ll likely not make the trip to the cashier.
Now, this brassiere thing. I get the health purpose for this … this … apparatus. But, that said: If I wore a bra, when I got home at the end of a long day? I’d look like the Elaine Benis character from Seinfeld trying to dance. But in my case it would be attempting to simultaneously remove those sticks holding my feet six inches straight up in the air while releasing the bra straps as so to fling it like a rubber band as fast and far across the house as possible—like helicopter blades whipping down the hall. Seriously, that thing would be off before the dog could welcome me home.
Now, guys are not total strangers to these weird devices and most of us can appreciate this dilemma. We often wear cups for competitive game situations. As uncomfortable as they are, it beats the alternative possibilities. However, once the game is over, that thing goes away. Far away. Now unlike a bra, a cup isn’t typically an eighteen hour thing, but I can empathize. What I don’t understand is maintaining those torture devices once you are in the comfort of your own home. Maybe it’s just me, but the sooner I am comfy, the better life is.
Back to those shoe-like things. If they aren’t comfortable, and if you look like you are trying to walk on a sidewalk grate, then … why? What am I missing? Yes, most guys look at you as you walk by. But what you might not realize is that we aren’t all thinking, “Wow look at those sexy legs.” Many of us are thinking, “Dear God, how the hell does she even walk in those things?”
It’s your call, but most of us find you sexy. Not your shoes. And the bra? Well, you do what you gotta do, but in the privacy of your own home—go ahead—try using that bad boy as a slingshot.
Get comfy. Life is short.